These days, more and more happy couples are seeing counselors to keep their unions humming along. Here, the country's top love experts offer up their best advice — for free!
Beginning a relationship is generally the easy part; it's maintaining the connection that gets a little tricky. That's why a growing number of two somes (whether or not
they've tied the knot) are going into couples therapy as a preemptive strike against the tough times that will inevitably
hit...and to learn how to keep the good times flowing.
To give you a leg up in your love life, we asked the country's
top relationship experts to share the most crucial things they've uncovered over the years — from big-picture philosophies
to little gestures that go a long way. These practices will help keep your union in a happy, healthy place.
they've tied the knot) are going into couples therapy as a preemptive strike against the tough times that will inevitably
hit...and to learn how to keep the good times flowing.
To give you a leg up in your love life, we asked the country's
top relationship experts to share the most crucial things they've uncovered over the years — from big-picture philosophies
to little gestures that go a long way. These practices will help keep your union in a happy, healthy place.
Ways to keep a good relationship:
1. Act Out of Character
Couples develop a particular dynamic: The way they relate to each other that repeats itself over and over. If you break that pattern and act against type — in a positive way — you inject new life into the relationship. For example, if you always get angry at your guy when he doesn't follow through on some chore, try
addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time.
addressing him in a nicer, more friendly tone, then thank him when he does a good job. It works every time.
—Toni Coleman, psychotherapist and relationship coach in McLean, Virginia.
2. Get in Touch a Lot
No doubt you hug and kiss each other hello and maybe snuggle a little after having sex. But simple acts like stroking his arm while you're
watching TV, taking his hand when you're walking down the street, or fondling his thigh during dinner are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout
the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on aninstinctive level.
—Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author ofEmotional Fitness for Couples
watching TV, taking his hand when you're walking down the street, or fondling his thigh during dinner are also ways to bond. Touching your partner throughout
the day triggers your feel-good hormones, which reinforces your affection and makes you feel closer on aninstinctive level.
—Psychotherapist Barton Goldsmith, PhD, author ofEmotional Fitness for Couples
3. Don't Be BFFs
Being pals with your man is great in theory. But that kind of connection actually can kill your sex life. You could wind up having a roommatelike bond
with each other rather than a hot one if you let yourself lose track of the masculine-feminine tension that excited
you at the beginning of your relationship. Save the gab sessions for when you hang out with your girlfriends and your sexy energy for connecting with your guy.
with each other rather than a hot one if you let yourself lose track of the masculine-feminine tension that excited
you at the beginning of your relationship. Save the gab sessions for when you hang out with your girlfriends and your sexy energy for connecting with your guy.
—Lana Holstein, MD, director of sexuality and vitality programs
for couples at Miraval Resort in Catalina, Arizona
for couples at Miraval Resort in Catalina, Arizona
Stay in touch for more tips on how to keep a good relationship.
SOURCE: COSMOPOLUTAN
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